Remember at the end of Return of the Jedi when Luke takes Darth’s mask off? And you’re like, whoooooa. A person lives under there. Someone who is extremely pasty white and a bit nasty-looking since that particular side of him is never shown. But a person, nonetheless. Not just the machine of power whoreness that is normally seen.
Keep this in mind.
Tonight was the culmination of Co-workerette’s class. I doubt I’ve ever mentioned the specifics of this, since I’m not technically involved with it. Though I’ve sat in on the class quite a few times for crowd control purposes. The more formal name of the class is Teaching Teens To Teach. The kids basically learn about classroom management, how to make lesson plans, stuff like that. And then at the end, they teach a group of seniors (elderly folk, not high school) in the next building a lesson on the topic of their choice. They earn a stipend for making it to the end of the class and carrying out the lesson, sort of like a contractor. Because of the money hook, kids like Darth, Michael Vick, Fooler, Lemming, Popeye, and a few of the more “difficult” cases participated in this class.
For some reason, the thing with the senior building didn’t work out, so it was decided that the T4 kids would take over this week’s forum. That class is held once a week, run by a woman from Upstairs, and it’s a teen town hall kind of whatever current issue blah blah sort of setup. They talk about sensitive topics like drugs, crime, sex, self-esteem, general life issues… it’s just a chance for all the teens to be in one group and participate in certain “lifestyle” activities. Roleplaying, films, discussions, whatever. It’s something just about everyone participates in and generally likes.
So. T4 took over for the night. Despite promises from Michael Vick and Fooler throughout the afternoon, they were no-shows when it came time to start the class. So, surprisingly, or maybe not — Darth lead the way.
The lesson plan was all about “dreams” — namely, the theme of dreams within the poetry of rap lyrics. A completely predictable topic, but if you want them to “get into this” it’s gotta be something they enjoy.
First, a bit of a digression — this 14 year old boy, let’s call him Klingon (though I assure you, he’s much more this than this), has been following me around to no ends lately. And I promise that’s solely due to the fact that there’s a better than even chance I’m the only person in his life who doesn’t shoo him away upon sight. He absolutely, 100% has some kind of mental deficiency, and because of that, he’s more gall dang annoying than Moira Kelly as a media consultant. But here’s the sad part. Because of said annoyance, anyone with less patience than me (read: probably everyone he immediately associates with) will just chalk it up to him being an irritating git than someone who needs special help. From the homework I’ve helped him with, he looks like he belongs in third grade instead of eighth — if that. But it’s the lack of mental, I don’t know… common sense receptor things that will get him killed. He has no sense of the right way to act around his peers. And I try to be straight up with him.
“[Klingon],” I said, “Listen. You have got to stop acting like that. You have to power down. Other kids aren’t going to like you all up in their space like that.”
“What? [fit of giggles]”
“Listen. One of these days, someone is just going to beat the crap out of you. No, I’m serious. Do you understand? I’m afraid for that. They aren’t going to put up with it. You have to know when to stop bugging people. Especially when they ask you to stop.”
“[fit of giggles] Nahhh!”
He needs special classes, special attention, I don’t know — a special school? He just needs something that he’s not getting. Yeah, that’s the norm for kids in these parts, but this isn’t a typical case of unmet needs. It’s a danger to himself, and there’s nothing I can do about it.
But anyway, back to the T4 lesson.
Darth passed out his copies of the lyrics and some question sheets. I let Klingon borrow my pen so, still wanting to participate, I just thought of all my answers in my head instead of writing them down. Darth read parts of the song outloud and posed questions about what the author’s dreams were and then asked about the dreams of all of us. He was thoughtful, prepared, composed, helpful, and basically any other adjective that would never describe him on a normal day.
He made it a point to walk around the room and help the people who needed it. I completely lost the power of speech when he sought out his favorite target for ridicule — Klingon — and patiently and intelligently broke down the questions so that he could better answer them. No trace of scorn or contempt. It was the side of him I’ve been trying to find for three months.
I was also impressed with the manner he conducted classroom management. He never once lost his cool, even when a few girls from Upstairs were trying to bait him by acting up and saying they knew he “wasn’t a real teacher.” (Uh… duh?) At the end he collected the papers and “graded” them. Mine was handed back with an “F” — I guess because it was blank.
“You gave me an F?” I teased.
“No, I didn’t GIVE you anything,” he said, completely serious. “You EARNED an F.”
I smiled. Something tells me he’s heard that more than a few times from teachers over the years.
This just kills me, though. It is so frustrating seeing him act like he’s capable. He knows exactly what he’s doing, every time he chooses to act like a moron in here. I don’t know how to make him understand this is truly the best way to be all the time. I don’t know how to make him understand he can do anything he wants in life… he can certainly get out of this dump. I don’t know how to make him understand that a leader doesn’t have to be a bully, that you can feel the same addictive feeling of power even through good deeds. But not if he is complacent with being a thug, just because it’s what he knows. I don’t get why he purposefully scorns the right path. I’d rather not chalk it up to typical teenage self-doubt and confusion, because I think it’s something else.
After three months, I obviously don’t understand him any more than I did the first day I met him. And I don’t think he’s changed that much. The good is always there, he just doesn’t care.
At the end of the movie, Darth Vader asked Luke to help take his mask off, and Luke reminded him, “…but you’ll die without it.” I think “our” Darth thinks that, too. But he really can take it off, like he did tonight. And leave it off. It might take a minute or two to adjust to looking at something so unfamiliar, but in the end, it’s truly him. Salvageable.
